I recently watched a TV show on the History channel called American Pickers. It’s about two guys that drive around looking for old junk, or rather what they call “rusty gold.” When they find an antique they think they can resell for a profit, they begin negotiating for a price. And as suspected, they want to pay less than the seller wants to sell for. You could call this a conflict. This is where the negotiating begins, to understand why someone places a different value on something from the value you place on it. It would be easy to start saying things like “you are being greedy” or “you are being cheap.” Or it could get even more personal with attacks like “you are a thief” or “you are a pig-headed…”, well you get the idea.
But instead of saying what someone is being like, or worse, saying what you think they are, they use a language that describes “where” they are. Instead of visualizing themselves as enemies, they visualize where they both are on the same map. So you hear a negotiation that sounds something like: “you are at $35 and I am at $25.” When they can both see where they are on a common map, it helps them find a way to meet in the middle. Is there something here that leaders can learn from pickers?
But instead of saying what someone is being like, or worse, saying what you think they are, they use a language that describes “where” they are. Instead of visualizing themselves as enemies, they visualize where they both are on the same map. So you hear a negotiation that sounds something like: “you are at $35 and I am at $25.” When they can both see where they are on a common map, it helps them find a way to meet in the middle. Is there something here that leaders can learn from pickers?
Wherever you are right now, you are somewhere within the context of a map. And whatever you are thinking right now, your thoughts are somewhere within the context of an explanation. When trying to find common ground between different opinions, it helps to have the maps of explanations, so we can say "you are here." One of the Explanation Age “maps” is called the “8 Degrees of Reason.” It allows us to see that we are both somewhere on the same map, but one of us may have an explanation from the seventh degree, with a reason of “because the evidence supports the hypothesis” – yet the other person is at the first degree, with a reason of “because I just don’t think so.” Another Explanation Age “map” is called the “Option Outline.” It allows us to see where we are within a thought process, the options which were considered, and how prior choices have dictated current options.
Instead of labeling someone, we can find out where we are on the same map, and how to start meeting in the middle. Finding out where someone is, in their thought process, might just turn up some "rusty gold."
Instead of labeling someone, we can find out where we are on the same map, and how to start meeting in the middle. Finding out where someone is, in their thought process, might just turn up some "rusty gold."
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